Do you have a hiding place?


Hollow Log

Image by lunamom58 via Flickr

This is a very emotional question. When I was a child, I wanted to be invisible. I would hide in the woods near our house. There was a huge hollow log that I could crawl inside. It was so big that I could sit up comfortably, hidden away in the darkened log. It was safer to hide than to go home. My father suffered brain damage from a stroke and did not know who I was. He would order me to get out of the house. As a young girl, I tried to understand, but that did not stop the pain. I had another reason to hide. It was better to go through the woods on my way home. That way I could avoid passing by the neighbours barn. He often waited there and would call me in. I was conflicted and confused. I needed attention. I needed to be told I was special, important. I would go to him because he told me I was pretty. He was a pedophile. I knew what he did was wrong, but I needed that validation sometimes. I would go and hide on other days waiting for my mother to come home from work. Sometimes I would climb high up into a tree and wait.

What is interesting is that, for many, many years as an adult, I would always be looking for hiding places. I would drive into work, and know where the best spots were… just in case.  I would look for trees I could climb or abandoned houses. I would look for culverts that I could crawl into. I felt safe in my marriage, but there was something holding me back from letting go of my fears.

I was able to receive freedom from the pain I held within me through much prayer and much counselling with a wonderful Christian Psychologist. I have forgiven Mr G and my father. I have forgiven my mother for not realizing I was being abused. I am free of the bondage of fear and the pain it caused. I have not even thought of a hiding place for years now.

I give all the glory to God. He is the healer of all our hearts, all you need to do is allow Him to release His healing power in your life.

About Maggie L R

I want to add colour to my life, I want to take each day and make it my own. I love simple pleasures. A hot cup of coffee in the early morning on the deck watching the dog chase the ball. The expressions on the faces of my grandchildren. I love to explore, to take a road I have never been on and see what unfolds. I love to travel. I love a challenge. I have decided I want to live a long and healthy life so I have challenged myself to get into shape both physically and mentally.
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6 Responses to Do you have a hiding place?

  1. edebock says:

    Praise God for his healing power and bless you for having the courage to share your story! I truly believe that He can use you to point others toward the healing that you have found.

    • Maggie L R says:

      I have been blessed to recieve a complete healing of all my pain. I pray others will not wait as long as I did before finding the freedom that Christ has available for the asking.

  2. Jessica Sideways says:

    Interesting, as I have found (being a lesbian transsexual woman) that belief in a God actually harms people’s hearts, poisons their hearts, cripples their capacity to love and increases the likelihood of believing lies and superstitions.

    • Maggie L R says:

      Jessica, You have been wounded as I was, I know you know that God is there and He is willing to help you, but you have to seek help. I am sorry if you have had a bad expierience with some of the people in a church, just remember that they are just flawed people like you and I, they are not God. God would never hurt you. He loves you just the way you are.

  3. Scott & Josie says:

    Encouraging testimony.
    May you continue to heal.

    Scott
    http://www.mercytrailsranch.com

  4. Kate Kresse says:

    Maggie—that was very brave of you to share this part of your life. It is thrilling to know that you have experienced God’s precious healing. May God bless your day today. You shall remain forever in my prayers.

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